Song In My Head: Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez & The Jonas Brothers - Send It On
(SUCH A RANDOM SONG, I KNOW!)
As I continue on my way to beginning college, my life has been changing. There have been small, subtle changes that don't really affect my day-to-day living. There have been moderate changes that I am glad to make. There have also been changes in my personal philosophies that I am almost shocked to be making, and new ways of thinking that keep me excited about the future. It is the last category that I have noticed most recently.
When I'm talking with my best friend, suddenly I feel as if we don't have certain things in common anymore. Where we used to fool around saying we were going to marry this person, or that person...I say, well who knows what the future holds? And she doesn't understand. She, as a person, is afraid of change. I know this. But I've learned to embrace it, because I know that change is inevitable, and it's beautiful. I know she wants to keep the fun, fantastical inside jokes from high school, because it is all fun. But I'm also being serious. I know life isn't always about being serious, I'm such a goofball! But I'm afraid for her sometimes because she doesn't accept change. I feel sorry that she doesn't accept change.
I, for many year now, have planned on saving sex for marriage. I know that isn't how many Wiccans live, by any stretch! So it's not religious, obviously. It's more personal. And I have a promise ring that says "true love waits", because I believe it does. (I call it a promise ring rather than a purity ring. "Purity" ring makes it sound as if sex is dirty and makes someone impure. And we all know that isn't true, and that it's a beautiful part of human life.) But recently, I've been thinking on what it means to me. And I still do plan to wait until marriage. But at the same time, if I fall head-over-heels in love sometime during college and I trust my significant other completely and I feel comfortable taking that step, I just might. The point, is that I have decided to live a little more care-free. A little more spontaneous. By leaving a little bit of the future to fate, or to the Divine, life becomes a little more interesting! It's all a beautiful dance in this life. I am very happy to be living it. And I am accepting change. I am happy to leave a little something to chance.
For once in my life, I feel safer free falling that being tied down.
Blessings,
Ellen
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