Good and Bad. Hey, that's life.

Moon: 2nd Quarter; Libra
What Made Me Smile: Not very much, unfortunately.
Song In My Head: Spill Canvas - One Thing is For Sure


I took some notes again this afternoon about what I wanted to write about, and as of now I have been procrastinating and just getting on here now. Forgive me!

Beltane is my first subject.
As someone who is...half in the closet, I always find sabbats difficult, and it shouldn't be that way at all. But I never find time to do a ritual. Or there are complications involving the ritual. I don't give myself enough time for alter decoration or any real reflection on the day. And it really upsets me, as it should. I am sure as I get older, more organized, and have more freedom, I will be better able to celebrate as I want to. Because at the moment, my altar is a 1.5 foot across breakfast-in-bed tray, and my area is three feet wide and six feet long. It's not too comfortable. This is what I generally associate/use for my Beltane.

General Symbols/Classic ideas: The Maypole, Flowers & Greenery, Beltane Fires, The Morning May dew, fertility, love, union.


Crafts & Magick: faeries! Like Samhain, Beltane is a prime faerie communication time. Just be careful not to get stuck in any rings. I haven't gotten comfortable enough yet to try to approach the fae...but one day...

I love the idea of flower crowns. I think they're very classic and a beautful statement of Beltane. They make me feel old fashioned, mystical and almost like a faerie of my own! If you buy one, that's great. If you want to make one that can last forever, fake flowers are a good idea, or if you'd rather make a ritual in itself out of the act, fresh flowers make a beautiful statement.

Some people go for a miniature maypole for their altar. Classic colors are, obviously, red and white. But good colors for the holday can be pastels. Light pinks, yellows, blues, etc.

I have a few books, all offering recepes, crafts, meditations. I normally go by those. They help. At this point in my life, It is more important to me to connect with the year and the changing world.

II.
On more of a downer note...I'm bitchy. I'm sad, tired and bitchy. I don't think I'm pre-menstrual, but you never know. My mom says that if I don't feel better, I need to get tested for mono. Somehow, I don't think it's physical. I feel weird...off balance. And I guess I don't know how to deal. I haven't looked into my books as of yet, I'm hoping it's just the result of stress and all I need is a few good nights of sleep.

I go on spring break soon, but it will still be pretty stressfull, homework and such. I'm getting BEAT UP for trying my best, not getting a job, all these other things. I hate to complain. I just don't know what to do exactly. Wow, worst ramble, worst blog ever.

Blessings,

xx